Addictions: Cause & Cure

Hello my treasured readers! I hope you're all excited to take on the weekend! I'm already half way through mine (scary! :D)

I am going to be touching the most sensitive issue in my life - Addiction. I had to gather great courage to write about it as it has been a very sensitive issue since childhood. And I realised that the most important souls in my life have or are currently battling addictions of various types - either their own, or of things or of people around them (which is worse!)

Though, I learnt my lessons the hard way - trying to fight my beloved dad and waste few years of our beautiful relationship bickering with one another. I still feel bad about the way I behaved with him but he always said one thing 'Jo kich ker reha soo ker reha, jaa haun keri na hoe' - Guru Nanak's teaching, paraphrased from Guru Granth Sahib, viz. that 'I am not the doer, it's god who's doing it through me. I am no one, it's only him experiencing alcoholism through me'. And I always argued with him when he said that. Even recently! Cause I always believe about having choices in life and taking 100% control of your life.

My belief was shattered by this book by OSHO called 'The Art Of Dying' (which many people are shocked to see in my hands & it's funny how they react). But I explain to everyone who has been worried about me reading such books is that I don't fear death. I never did! But I did fear the death of my beloved family. I remember being gripped in fear all night and holding my grandmother, shedding tears all night. I used to tell her that I wouldn't let her die and that even if she does, I would store her in a glass box and put her on a ventilator forever till I live. I still can't stop the waterfall from my eyes as I write this. The fear of losing a loved one was paralysing for me.

Until I learnt my lessons with 3 beloved grandparents leaving me to experience life in different bodies -
1. 4th November 2004 is when I lost my beloved fraternal  grandfather. I still remember crying for hours in my prayer room and calling out for god to save him. I even did crazy things like put my hand in fire, as religions taught us that you owed someone something - that there was this God who was vengeful and would judge you for your sins and trial by fire. I did whatever my 13 year old mind could conceive. He had always believed that I was gifted and gave me the gift of music at a very early age. All said, I couldn't save him and there was this space in my heart that was going to live with me till I live this life.

2. 2nd October 2007 - My maternal grandfather left for heavenly abode. What's astonishing about this death was that it was actually predicted by my grandfather a month before he leaving us. He actually went around meeting everyone who mattered to him (even his customers) and told them he was leaving. My mother and her siblings were not able to believe what they heard. He actually gave fruits from our ansestoral tree to every important soul - most delicious custard apples I've ever tasted. It was the same tree under which he had been given the intuition of his body's death. His ansestors were saints, super spiritual but my grandfather never read any religious scripture or went a lot to the gurudwara. All he did was to BE A GOOD MAN & taught ME that too. He was a SAINT of a modern world.

3. 13th October 2012 - My maternal grandmother left us. We saw it coming from years and all of us were actually relieved seeing her go as she missed her beloved. She and my grandfather were twin flame soulmates (more on soulmates here: https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3595992) and their relationship was the most beautiful thing ever - they never argued once. I was inspired by them to find that ONE soulmate who would make me experience heaven on earth. I very vividly remember crying with her when she missed him after he was gone. Her soul yearned to unite with him. She was hospitalised soon after my grandfather left us. My aunt (who is my twin flame too) actually felt his spirit in the hospital and she sensed that he had come to take her with him. My aunt cried because she couldn't bear the loss of two very beloved souls. Soon after, my grandmother saw him in her dream and he asked her to stay to finish few tasks he had left. Though even after my grandmother left planet earth, the will wasn't made and those tasks were left undone. This experience taught me that my aunt was a twin flame soulmate to both these beautiful souls. And like them, she found her soulmate and continues to live the life of her dreams with him.
This death of my grandmother actually didn't shake me up as much. I was relieved to see her go and unite in her beloved. I am sure they are ONE wherever they are. So this experience taught me how to ACCEPT THE DEATH OF A BELOVED & what SOULMATES are.

Ahh! I can keep raving about this forever. So wherever you are, never let this hunger go away! Keep looking for the ONE. It's liberating to be around that ONE. It's a LOVE so celestial that it makes you be a better person. You all should watch the movie Serendipity to believe in it: http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0240890/

Astonishing how LOVE is the answer to everything! All addictions are lost when LOVE is found. May God Bless You 🙏🏻

Be Free To Love & Be Loved

It's been almost two years since I posted a blog post and I am very sorry to have not written for so long. I have decided to put up new posts consistently so that I reach my target of inspiring and touching lives of others, even in the slightest way possible. The very thought of me making the smallest of change in someone's life lights me up and gives me a reason to keep exploring life and keep moving on.

I learnt that in life, you come across a lot of people - some stay, some leave in peace, some wreak havoc on you and eventually leave or stay in your life to wreak havoc on a daily basis. Life's experiences taught me that we as humans, love challenges. We fall in love with the people who don't care about us, we care for friends who'll never think twice before turning their back on us, we cling to people who don't deserve to be held on to. We love doing this so much that want to take this challenge for the rest of our lives, to hold on to and change people who don't care about us. Because if they truly cared, you wouldn't ever have to ask them to change. They change because they truly love you and want to be a better version of themselves for you. Also if you loved them unconditionally, you wouldn't want them to be any different. Isn't it?

My sincere request to you is that never turn your back on people who love you unconditionally. It's okay if you don't want to love them back! But you don't have to walk all over their fragile hearts and shatter them for life. That's the worse way to return the love that someone was giving you. Because when people truly love you, they open up their hearts, their deepest fears and desires to you. And what you do when someone loves you truly, defines you as a person. You may have whatever reasons to turn them down or shoo them away from your life - whether you do the same with feelings based in love or hate is a choice you make. All these choices add up to your character. How bad can it get if someone reciprocates hate for love? 

You may have whatever reasons to hold back love or to respond with hate. But you have no right to break a loving heart by turning cold or disrespecting them in any way. We all have had challenges, we all have had a tough life and we all have faced rejections from people we have loved. How did that feel? If it felt great, by all means go do that with every single person who cares for you. If it doesn't feel great about being on the receiving end of rejection and hate, you don't want to give it to people who care for you! They are the only people who'll stand by you, come what may! They are the last people you need to judge or bully. Make them stay!

So my dear readers, LOVE! Because LOVE IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING. LOVE is all there is! In the presence of love, no opposites exist. LOVE transforms lives, it dissolves grudges that have been nurtured for decades, it makes life so unbelievably simple! Give LOVE a chance and see your agonies evaporate. May you heal & be healed by LOVE! 

What true success means...

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

The above quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson says it all. Success is really this simple! I don't know when and why things got complicated in the human world. Our grandparents and great grandparents never had the luxuries that we have, but still they were happy and content. Somehow, we have all led ourselves get driven by ego and greed, to a world where money is all there is, where we have become slaves to the paper which we once invented. Greed for more, some more, a little extra and, we don't know where to stop. It's a crazy run! People all around you are running, running to reach somewhere, running to become something, running to a better life and a better future. Only to realize later on that this running away never led somewhere, it only took them away from the beautiful presents the 'NOW' was holding. And life, my dear friends, is a movie which screens just once and cannot be rewound no matter what you are ready to trade for it. 

We all know it inherently, we know that this run for fame and name is unimportant in the bigger scenario of evolution. Yet we are too busy to notice. It's like sitting on a motorboat without starting the engine and going in the opposite direction of your destination because of the water flow, when otherwise you could have sped through the water if you stopped and noticed the power you have. Have you tried to filter your thoughts to know what it all boils down to? What is it that we crave? Let me just dissect it a little for you to absorb better: You ask any person 'What do you think will manifest if you are successful?' The answers will of course be varied ranging from 'a bigger house, a better life, tons of money, a better family, a better society/world and blah blah'. Now again, if you ask that person 'What if you get 'a bigger house, a better life, tons of money, a better family, a better society/world and blah blah', what will happen if you achieve all that you could ever desire and be the most successful person alive?' The response will be 'I will ultimately achieve happiness and i'll be able to make my family happy and etc. etc. Do you understand what the irony of life is here? The end objective is 'Happiness'. What if you could be happy NOW? What if you could make your family smile right NOW? Do you think it is that impossible a task? You know the answer better than anyone else does for you.

I am not telling you to stop going to your job or stop earning money. Money is necessary, but not the key to happiness! We all know a person or have heard of people having all the name and fame and still suffering from depression. Knowing that money isn't the only thing that dictates happiness, we all are on a run for it! Do you want to be from the 99% population and be another sheep in the herd that's mislead and misguided by ego and greed? or do you want to stand out, stop and decide where you want to go and then follow your heart?

It's so easy to be happy right now. Happiness doesn't mean laughing all the time or always crazily jumping around. Happiness is a state of being. It's a state of awareness that you have deep inside you. No matter what the ups and downs of life, this state remains, it's a beautiful tranquil. A feeling that you are a beautiful, unique soul on planet earth taking on a journey that no one else took and no one ever will! Being on planet earth and experiencing life happening is enormous success in itself. All you need is just to be in this knowingness. You smile and the world smiles back.

May your eyes see beauty all around and in yourself. That's my prayer for everyone in the world. Love be with you. :-)

The unsung heroes of our lives

"The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about."

                                                                                                                  - Anonymous

I looked out the window this morning as usual, but saw an unusual sight that changed the way I see. It was the vision of two men suspending from the 42nd floor, with the support of two ropes, to clean the window panes of each apartment. I was dumbstruck with the thought of even attempting such a thing. Oh my gosh! What heroes these guys are, comparable to some stuntmen in Hollywood or Bollywood. Yet, these heroes remain unrecognized, unthanked and unacknowledged for what they do. May be they earn just enough to scrape from month to month. They all have families, children who love them and go to school because of them, parents for whom they may be the only reason to smile, friends who are a part of their happy moments and a lot more than I can probably think of.

Yet these heroes remain anonymous. Nobody knows their name, nobody stops by to ask them if they were okay, nobody even cares to know if they've had their bread for the day... But everybody enjoys the luxuries got because of them, sometimes, even without realizing that they have them because of these unsung heroes. It moves us when we think about it. When we realize that the beautiful views outside our windows wouldn't have been as beautiful without the help of these unsung heroes that work day in and day out, so that we could live with comfort and so that their children could go to school and never have to do what they do, to earn a living.

Look around, I mean really look around right now! There are so many things that surround you coming from an unsung hero. May be it's the clean laundry you wear or the clean floor you step your feet on. May be its the amazing food you eat that your mother or someone else cooks for you tirelessly standing in the kitchen, so that you could have a good meal and work or study better. May be it is just as small a thing as delivering the milk or groceries to your doorstep. Don't let these unsung heroes stay unsung. You never know what hardships that delivery boy or that maid faces so that they could be of help to you.

Let us today make an intent to start recognizing these heroes. We may not have extra money to help them or buy something for them. But we do have a smile, that helping hand or just a 'Thank you' that can make their day. It's amazing to see how their faces light up with just a word of appreciation for the work they do. God has made each man/woman in the image of god. Look at the needy with a smile and you will feel god looking back at you. Tip them at times, appreciate them or may be buy them something... no matter how insignificant that looks to you. For them, each act of kindness makes a difference. May be even a difference of life and death for them or their families. Giving is the most beautiful thing you can ever experience, if done with an open heart. It makes you feel you can make a difference in people's life, no matter how big or small.

You can make a difference! Always remember, that the elephant can crush huge trees and kill animals, but an ant can terrify or even kill an elephant at times.(Paraphrased from the Guru Granth Sahib)

Make it your intention to keep doing the little things! You may be an unsung hero to hundreds or even millions around... Just keep doing your bit! :-)

I would like to share this video with you guys that is sure to leave you smiling - The unsung hero

Blame - the silent killer!

Blame - We all resort to it all the time! Just that we justify it so well, we don't even think we blame. When it comes to others, we're super quick to point out the blame games they play. Blame is such a natural phenomenon to us! We don't even feel the need for analysis or introspection when we start blaming! Blame is a comfort zone that we are used to living in, so much so that it has become an inseparable part of our personalities.

If we're late, traffic is to be blamed. If we are not meeting deadlines, time is to be blamed. If there is mess in our apartment, maid or family's to be blamed. And last but not the least! If we have an unhappy life, our parents, school, job, colleagues, spouse/s, government or in short! The whole world but ourselves is blamed! It's so unconscious that we don't even analyze before we start hurling blames around.

The reason why I call blame a silent killer is that we don't even realize how deep routed it is in us. Blame is like a poison that slowly spreads and robs you of your successes. Be careful! Blame comes disguised, looking like a friend who's come to save you from your problems. But essentially, it weakens you, makes you feel like a victim, leaves you feeling helpless and keeps you away from all the success and happiness you deserve.

Take responsibility! Wherever you are right now...whoever tells you how bad your life is...whatever problems are standing to haunt you, Get Up! Take Responsibility! There's no one you should blame. The only person who has attracted situations in your life is YOU! So stop trying to find reasons to blame somebody else and sympathize with yourself. Rather look for solutions, see what you can do. If there's nothing you can't do about it, walk away and find something better to work on.

Let me share my graduation story to let you all know how I came to understand blame. Taking responsibility of my life changed it for the better. I was so called 'motivated' and sent to graduate in computers by my dear Dad. I had no genes of computers whatsoever - My Dad being a PhD in Zoology and my mom being a nutritionist. Biology was the only subject I loved and I had all the reasons to do so. And here I was! Studying the heart and kidneys of computers. Couldn't hate it more! My grades after the first term reflected it. I had never scored this low in my life. Easiest thing to do - I blamed all I could and cried my heart out after the first term results were out. But then some thought hit me like a big blow in my face. Oh my gosh! No one had signed my admission papers... No one held my hand to take me to college each day. It was me! I had chosen it after all said and done. Since that day I never blamed, took responsibility and graduated with flying colours. I thanked my Dad instead, as I never would have known how strong I was till I decided to take that leap of faith. After my experience I can surely say one thing: You can be, do or have anything! All you need to do is get rid of the need to blame and stay strong.

Throw blame out of your house! Let it be known to blame that there is no way you will resort to it. It may be a difficult uphill climb, but it's worth it! Take chances, fail and accept failure to come back even stronger. Don't let blame convince you that something is unachievable. Cause man! You are stronger that you think and as capable as any great soul who ever walked the planet!

Wish you a 'blame-free' life! Rejoice in the liberation and believe everything's possible in this world full of possibilities!

RIP Blame :-)

P.S. This post got deleted twice without me doing a single thing! Worse, I didn't have a backup. But I guess it was a good thing to happen. I wrote it better the 3rd time! :-)

Social Media - Use it, Don't abuse it!

Okay, I know this blog is going to be in the face of many for whom social media is "THE" thing! If you love social media too much for your own good, do not even read further as there may be a few 'ouch' moments. For those who dare to change, question where we are heading and want to live with a little more freedom, these stats are for you:

Many researches suggest that the number of people with SMAD (Social Media Addiction Disorder) is increasing day by day. Google it and you may find some harsh facts restating this truth. If you use social sites to market your business, an art form or to find a job, you are not an addict if you use it for a limited time everyday.

For the others who use social media for everything but the work they do, let us have a reality check:

1. Do you really think all the people who follow/friend you are significant to you? Do you think you and your life is any important for most of them? (STOP FLOODING THEM WITH UNIMPORTANT DAILY UPDATES FROM YOUR LIFE! They have enough of their own to deal with!)

2. Do you think anybody cares to see your personal life and sleazy love messages that you post through updates to let the whole world know? (I'm sorry! If you love a person, spend all the time you have with them! How can you leave few precious minutes of being with them and display your new found love to the whole world? Even if that person is far away, you can call that person or see that person to say what you want to. Why should the whole world be a witness to all that's cookin'? Sorry, but you need to start loving 'actually' and stop displaying 'virtually'. Try and limit posts that are very close to your personal life.)

'

3. Do you like seeing crazy check-in's and people showing off each & every possible place on earth they go to? (They don't like it either! Most of them are thinking in their head "This guy/girl is such an ***. How could they go to places I have never been to :/" and after thinking that, they hit a like button and comment "Wow! where's that?" :D Sorry, but I guess you got what's intended in here as all of us do it in some form or the other, at some point of time. It doesn't mean you can't share important events with friends. Do it if you really need to, but make sure you don't inundate them all the time.)

4. Is it important to spend hours(killing time!) and keep stalking a friend's friend or even strangers? (I understand if you are away from your friends and need to keep in touch. But why this need to check on some person sitting at some corner of the globe, who is anyway not interested in you? You are wasting time that could have been used to meet existing friends and family. As they are the only ones who matter!)

5. Do you use social media to wish your close friends and relatives on any of their birthdays/anniversaries? (Okay, you can wish friends you can't phone. But guys! You need to have the courtesy to give them a call or drop a personal message if they matter to you!)

These are few highlights of my observation of people on social media. If you have any more or disagree with something, do post your comments below!

Now, you must be thinking 'Now that I understand it isn't healthy for me, how much of social media information do I consume everyday?' or 'How do I make sure I use it and not abuse or overuse it?'

Firstly, no one can teach you how much social media is healthy for you. Good news is, you decide how much you wish to indulge! Make sure you have a life outside your smartphones and laptops. Go out with the people you love, make new friends, connect with old relatives and friends and see them! There is nothing as blissful as being the reason behind your friend's or family's smile. Make memories, be a part of them, don't worry to post it on Facebook or Instagram! Just live in the moment! You will die with all these memories that make your life, not with how popular were you with social sites or how many 'likes' you had. Stop worrying about the 'likes' or 'followers', start to 'like' and in fact love your own life. Capture memories, pictures can always accompany. 'Tweet' the sound of your inner being in your life and let melody play in each action you take. Be your own 'favourite'. 

Live in the moment! NOW is a very important moment. Fill it with memories to treasure.

Also, I reckon that this video be watched by every person - Look Up, Youtube . It is an amazing video on how we should leave the smartphones and remember to 'look up!'

Wish that you take all that I said in a positive way and learn from it. If I have unintentionally hurt your feelings, I am extremely apologetic. 

Remember to use and not abuse social media! Come out of the virtuality & live the actuality! :)

Go Higher, Go Beyond...

Before I begin writing on this topic, I would like to thank all of you for being such treasured readers! Each one of you, known and unknown to me, have showered me with appreciations so great that i can't believe it's me! :p I would like to specially thank my friend Apu (Apurva), who made it to the semi-finals of India's Got Talent 6 (huge congrats!). She always surprises me in different ways. She is indeed a gift to me and I hope all of you get friends who make you feel happy to be alive and kickin'! :)

"Be the best person you look forward to meet"

We've heard the above a million times, in different ways. But we simply don't wanna pay heed as we are too comfortable where and how we are! The saddest truth of our age is that most of us live in 'self-deprival' modes. 

Did you know that almost 7% of the U.S. population is diagnosed with depression? (Source: https://bbrfoundation.org/depression) Depression is the most common mental ailment in the US. And these my dear friends! Are the statistics of the largest economy of the world! (Source: http://www.investopedia.com/articles/investing/022415/worlds-top-10-economies.asp) Can you envision what must be the mental health of people who barely manage to scrape one meal a day? 

If your reading this, I am sure you are lucky enough to get your meals on time and can afford much more. The point in discussion is, that no matter how rich economies and people get, many of them are lonely, hollow inside, sleepless, sad, complaining and wanting to run away from life, if given a chance. Many of them sadly give in and end their lives, when a million unfortunate ones dream of a life they once lived. It is sad but true, that even when you sit out there and complain or are angry at your life or god, there are millions who are praying to have the job that you have or to live in the house that you live in or to have the love of the family you have. You just have to open your eyes to the blessings that surround you! And believe me, they are countless!

Now, coming to the topic of this post- How do we go higher and go beyond? To rise above and beyond, we need to rise from our old belief systems and reprogram our minds with a software that serves us! If you are happy and content with the life you live, you needn't even read further! :) For the others, it is important that a serious reprogramming be done(If and only if you wish to lead a better life for your own good).

Nobody but your soul( or mind or whatever you choose to call it), is the greatest teacher you can have! Nobody taught you how to breathe when you were born, nobody taught you how to swallow your food down. Thus, the soul is the greatest source of knowledge that you have, the only thing to do is connect to it and tap that knowledge source. Be honest and try asking yourself, 'when was the last time I met myself?' I'm sure most of us don't even know what meeting our own self means!

Let me make it a little simple for you - When you sit in the quiet of your mind, when you have no noise to disturb you(not even the noise of waste, day-to-day thoughts), when you can feel your feelings, THAT is being with yourself. When that quiet is within you, you just want to live in that peace for hours. It's a high no other drug can give! When your conscious mind is quiet, the subconscious takes over. This subconscious is the soul - a powerhouse of knowledge and wisdom. When you activate it, it becomes the manifester of all your desires and gives you an immense sense of power. You can catch the vibes of people around you and become wise enough to judge and take decisions that serve you best. 

It is not some impossible, crazy ideas that I am sharing with you. It is my experience that this beautiful energy lies inside me, and inside you too, if you connect to it. I am a normal human just like you, I do get angry, irritated and crazy at times but they just pass by like a storm and I soon get back to my peaceful self with learning for the future.

I will let you decide how you want to reprogram your old belief system if it no longer serves you. You have an unending stream of wisdom inside you, just remember to tap it. Keep learning and growing, cause when you stop learning, you start dying. No matter what your age, you can still learn that guitar or a new language or whatever you choose to! Learning makes you feel alive as you become a better version of yourself after everything new that you learn.

My only wish is that YOU go HIGHER and BEYOND the old version of yourself! Be the person you love, after all you are the only true soulmate who stands by you(even after the last breath).

Try taking a break from the drama and say hi to the beautiful you! :) *Smiles*