Hello my treasured readers! I hope you're all excited to take on the weekend! I'm already half way through mine (scary! :D)
I am going to be touching the most sensitive issue in my life - Addiction. I had to gather great courage to write about it as it has been a very sensitive issue since childhood. And I realised that the most important souls in my life have or are currently battling addictions of various types - either their own, or of things or of people around them (which is worse!)
Though, I learnt my lessons the hard way - trying to fight my beloved dad and waste few years of our beautiful relationship bickering with one another. I still feel bad about the way I behaved with him but he always said one thing 'Jo kich ker reha soo ker reha, jaa haun keri na hoe' - Guru Nanak's teaching, paraphrased from Guru Granth Sahib, viz. that 'I am not the doer, it's god who's doing it through me. I am no one, it's only him experiencing alcoholism through me'. And I always argued with him when he said that. Even recently! Cause I always believe about having choices in life and taking 100% control of your life.
My belief was shattered by this book by OSHO called 'The Art Of Dying' (which many people are shocked to see in my hands & it's funny how they react). But I explain to everyone who has been worried about me reading such books is that I don't fear death. I never did! But I did fear the death of my beloved family. I remember being gripped in fear all night and holding my grandmother, shedding tears all night. I used to tell her that I wouldn't let her die and that even if she does, I would store her in a glass box and put her on a ventilator forever till I live. I still can't stop the waterfall from my eyes as I write this. The fear of losing a loved one was paralysing for me.
Until I learnt my lessons with 3 beloved grandparents leaving me to experience life in different bodies -
1. 4th November 2004 is when I lost my beloved fraternal grandfather. I still remember crying for hours in my prayer room and calling out for god to save him. I even did crazy things like put my hand in fire, as religions taught us that you owed someone something - that there was this God who was vengeful and would judge you for your sins and trial by fire. I did whatever my 13 year old mind could conceive. He had always believed that I was gifted and gave me the gift of music at a very early age. All said, I couldn't save him and there was this space in my heart that was going to live with me till I live this life.
2. 2nd October 2007 - My maternal grandfather left for heavenly abode. What's astonishing about this death was that it was actually predicted by my grandfather a month before he leaving us. He actually went around meeting everyone who mattered to him (even his customers) and told them he was leaving. My mother and her siblings were not able to believe what they heard. He actually gave fruits from our ansestoral tree to every important soul - most delicious custard apples I've ever tasted. It was the same tree under which he had been given the intuition of his body's death. His ansestors were saints, super spiritual but my grandfather never read any religious scripture or went a lot to the gurudwara. All he did was to BE A GOOD MAN & taught ME that too. He was a SAINT of a modern world.
3. 13th October 2012 - My maternal grandmother left us. We saw it coming from years and all of us were actually relieved seeing her go as she missed her beloved. She and my grandfather were twin flame soulmates (more on soulmates here: https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3595992) and their relationship was the most beautiful thing ever - they never argued once. I was inspired by them to find that ONE soulmate who would make me experience heaven on earth. I very vividly remember crying with her when she missed him after he was gone. Her soul yearned to unite with him. She was hospitalised soon after my grandfather left us. My aunt (who is my twin flame too) actually felt his spirit in the hospital and she sensed that he had come to take her with him. My aunt cried because she couldn't bear the loss of two very beloved souls. Soon after, my grandmother saw him in her dream and he asked her to stay to finish few tasks he had left. Though even after my grandmother left planet earth, the will wasn't made and those tasks were left undone. This experience taught me that my aunt was a twin flame soulmate to both these beautiful souls. And like them, she found her soulmate and continues to live the life of her dreams with him.
This death of my grandmother actually didn't shake me up as much. I was relieved to see her go and unite in her beloved. I am sure they are ONE wherever they are. So this experience taught me how to ACCEPT THE DEATH OF A BELOVED & what SOULMATES are.
Ahh! I can keep raving about this forever. So wherever you are, never let this hunger go away! Keep looking for the ONE. It's liberating to be around that ONE. It's a LOVE so celestial that it makes you be a better person. You all should watch the movie Serendipity to believe in it: http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0240890/
Astonishing how LOVE is the answer to everything! All addictions are lost when LOVE is found. May God Bless You 🙏🏻
I am going to be touching the most sensitive issue in my life - Addiction. I had to gather great courage to write about it as it has been a very sensitive issue since childhood. And I realised that the most important souls in my life have or are currently battling addictions of various types - either their own, or of things or of people around them (which is worse!)
Though, I learnt my lessons the hard way - trying to fight my beloved dad and waste few years of our beautiful relationship bickering with one another. I still feel bad about the way I behaved with him but he always said one thing 'Jo kich ker reha soo ker reha, jaa haun keri na hoe' - Guru Nanak's teaching, paraphrased from Guru Granth Sahib, viz. that 'I am not the doer, it's god who's doing it through me. I am no one, it's only him experiencing alcoholism through me'. And I always argued with him when he said that. Even recently! Cause I always believe about having choices in life and taking 100% control of your life.
My belief was shattered by this book by OSHO called 'The Art Of Dying' (which many people are shocked to see in my hands & it's funny how they react). But I explain to everyone who has been worried about me reading such books is that I don't fear death. I never did! But I did fear the death of my beloved family. I remember being gripped in fear all night and holding my grandmother, shedding tears all night. I used to tell her that I wouldn't let her die and that even if she does, I would store her in a glass box and put her on a ventilator forever till I live. I still can't stop the waterfall from my eyes as I write this. The fear of losing a loved one was paralysing for me.
Until I learnt my lessons with 3 beloved grandparents leaving me to experience life in different bodies -
1. 4th November 2004 is when I lost my beloved fraternal grandfather. I still remember crying for hours in my prayer room and calling out for god to save him. I even did crazy things like put my hand in fire, as religions taught us that you owed someone something - that there was this God who was vengeful and would judge you for your sins and trial by fire. I did whatever my 13 year old mind could conceive. He had always believed that I was gifted and gave me the gift of music at a very early age. All said, I couldn't save him and there was this space in my heart that was going to live with me till I live this life.
2. 2nd October 2007 - My maternal grandfather left for heavenly abode. What's astonishing about this death was that it was actually predicted by my grandfather a month before he leaving us. He actually went around meeting everyone who mattered to him (even his customers) and told them he was leaving. My mother and her siblings were not able to believe what they heard. He actually gave fruits from our ansestoral tree to every important soul - most delicious custard apples I've ever tasted. It was the same tree under which he had been given the intuition of his body's death. His ansestors were saints, super spiritual but my grandfather never read any religious scripture or went a lot to the gurudwara. All he did was to BE A GOOD MAN & taught ME that too. He was a SAINT of a modern world.
3. 13th October 2012 - My maternal grandmother left us. We saw it coming from years and all of us were actually relieved seeing her go as she missed her beloved. She and my grandfather were twin flame soulmates (more on soulmates here: https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3595992) and their relationship was the most beautiful thing ever - they never argued once. I was inspired by them to find that ONE soulmate who would make me experience heaven on earth. I very vividly remember crying with her when she missed him after he was gone. Her soul yearned to unite with him. She was hospitalised soon after my grandfather left us. My aunt (who is my twin flame too) actually felt his spirit in the hospital and she sensed that he had come to take her with him. My aunt cried because she couldn't bear the loss of two very beloved souls. Soon after, my grandmother saw him in her dream and he asked her to stay to finish few tasks he had left. Though even after my grandmother left planet earth, the will wasn't made and those tasks were left undone. This experience taught me that my aunt was a twin flame soulmate to both these beautiful souls. And like them, she found her soulmate and continues to live the life of her dreams with him.
This death of my grandmother actually didn't shake me up as much. I was relieved to see her go and unite in her beloved. I am sure they are ONE wherever they are. So this experience taught me how to ACCEPT THE DEATH OF A BELOVED & what SOULMATES are.
Ahh! I can keep raving about this forever. So wherever you are, never let this hunger go away! Keep looking for the ONE. It's liberating to be around that ONE. It's a LOVE so celestial that it makes you be a better person. You all should watch the movie Serendipity to believe in it: http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0240890/
Astonishing how LOVE is the answer to everything! All addictions are lost when LOVE is found. May God Bless You 🙏🏻
